this could be a long one….
The boy I'm dating was fingering me, and recently told me that it feels like I have a bump in my vagina, at the bottom bit he said. Now I'm terrified. I emailed my doctor about the bump thing and she said that the exam came out totally normal and that I should make an appointment to ask questions so I dont feel as anxious and that she could check me again. which I plan on doing monday.
So I'm dating a boy currently who is freaked out at the idea of std's. It freaks him out a lot and he gets anxiety over it. Now, I've been cheated on and sexually assaulted in my past. which he is aware of. I also had.have hpv when I was 19, 8 yrs ago, and my bf at that time who gave it to me had warts like not on his penis but burried under his pubes. Every pap and test after that has come up negative.
Now. I've spoken to my doctor and a few other doctors. like two others. They said since it's been so long since since that I'm more than likely over it, that it's undetectable in my body and that I'm no longer a carrier. She made a point to stress that the virus is relatively new and new things are found out about it all the time.
After my assault in november i went to the hospital and got a rape exam done, not the rape kit. They loaded me up with pills and things and all my tests came back normal. In january, I also got another pap and tested. Everything came back fine.
I'm scared I have warts in my vagina. So my questions are has anyone experienced warts on their vaginal walls? Its like a little ball, kind of like a skin tag or blod clot( i get them in my mouth sometimes) I dont know if its a clot of what. anyway. my partner said maybe its a cyst or scar tissue or something. anyway. I'm super scared. would the two doctors have seen it? especially in the rape exam since it took longer and felt more thorough? Plus they were looking for like cuts and bruises after a rape? I dont know. He said that it's noticeable that he thinks it must have been there in january (he first felt it right after the test but didnt say anything until now because he didnt want to make me feel bad) he also said it probably was there in october too since it doesnt seem like it could have grown like that. but i have no idea. i cant really figure out what hes talking about and I dont want him in there if it is, nor do i want him showing me something like that because it will make me feel gross.
It also may help to know that I have had BV often, and yeast infections. The doctors go back and forth about it I feel like. The rape doc said I had BV, then the meds gave me a YI which feels like its still lingering. I took pills in january for it but it still feels present, I think it came back. No idea why. I feel like I keep getting BV and YI for the past three years, which started when I found out I was allergic to latex. I'm still not entirely sure how to ward those off either…. I feel like a mess. all this stresses me out.
I really thought the hpv thing was past me. Plus I already feel super dirty and gross from the rape. I remember when I was 19 I was so scared that id never have a partner again etc. I feel like I've done so many right things or what I thought was right at the time. I dont know. I feel dirty and gross.
Also, sometimes he worried so much that he wont have sex with me. like on my period because he's scared hiv can be picked up easier when im on my period. no ive been tested twice and dont have hiv. I think he will stop being worried about it after six months from the rape goes past and i get tested again. I got tested right after, three months after that and im supposed to go again in april.