My partner and I are going on our 11th month of trying to conceive. My periods are relatively regular at about 32 days, with ovulation averaging at 18 days in the cycle. In December I’m pretty sure I had a chemical pregnancy, my period was about 2 days late and a lot heavier and more painful than usual. I had tested the day I expected it (because I lack patience) and it was a faint positive. I tested again the next evening and it was still positive. I started bleeding the next day at work and had to leave early because of the cramps. I think that if I hadn’t of tested and hadn’t of known, it might not have affected me as much psychologically and been maybe less painful.
After that I went for my annual physical, where my doctor told me that most people conceive between 12 and 18 months of active trying and that I should relax. Which is difficult. I took some holistic paths and tried to find ways to focus less on making a baby and more on expanding the love in my relationship. It helped and I’ve been much more relaxed about trying to conceive. Until about a week ago.
I found out two girls I work closely with are pregnant, about 3 weeks apart. I broke down and got really stressed because for both of them it was accidental, and frankly unwanted, while I’ve been trying for so long with no result. My partner and I work together (it’s a small family owned business that’s very close) and it was very hard for both of us. Now, because I respect my employer and don’t want to leave him without three of his cashiers all at the same time, we’ve decided to take a break from actively trying, for about 4-6 months. Naturally this means, while my period is about 5 days away, yesterday some strange symptoms showed up.
I started spotting brown yesterday, and today it’s been some heavier dark brown and pink discharge, and I’ve never had that before. I had some cramping for about 10 minutes this afternoon and there was a 2.5hr period where I was so light headed I had to lay down with my feet up. I ate, and made sure I had protein and sugar and it didn’t really help. Now I’m nauseous, and for say, the last 3 days I’ve been really bloated with very sore breasts. It’s been a busy day! None of these things are normal for me before my period.
The things I know for sure are that, if I were pregnant, it would be by no more than 2 weeks and all of the things I’m feeling seem way too soon, especially the bloating, unless I were having twins or something (which run in my family, and I’m overthinking everything, so of course I go to that.) And, I cannot be pregnant right now. Everyone at work is now asking all the fertile girls who’s next, because it apparently comes in threes, and no one’s asking me. I feel pressure but I have a lot of respect for my workplace, I know that there will be 2 very efficient girls gone during our busiest time and I don’t want to be gone as well.
I need… reassurance, or help identifying the things I’m experiencing. Could it be psychological or might I finally be pregnant now that it’s inconvenient?