My partner and I are going on our 11th month of trying to conceive. My periods are relatively regular at about 32 days, with ovulation averaging at 18 days in the cycle. In December I’m pretty sure I had a chemical pregnancy, my period was about 2 days late and a lot heavier and more painful than usual. I had tested the day I expected it (because I lack patience) and it was a faint positive. I tested again the next evening and it was still positive. I started bleeding the next day at work and had to leave early because of the cramps. I think that if I hadn’t of tested and hadn’t of known, it might not have affected me as much psychologically and been maybe less painful.

After that I went for my annual physical, where my doctor told me that most people conceive between 12 and 18 months of active trying and that I should relax. Which is difficult. I took some holistic paths and tried to find ways to focus less on making a baby and more on expanding the love in my relationship. It helped and I’ve been much more relaxed about trying to conceive. Until about a week ago.

I found out two girls I work closely with are pregnant, about 3 weeks apart. I broke down and got really stressed because for both of them it was accidental, and frankly unwanted, while I’ve been trying for so long with no result. My partner and I work together (it’s a small family owned business that’s very close) and it was very hard for both of us. Now, because I respect my employer and don’t want to leave him without three of his cashiers all at the same time, we’ve decided to take a break from actively trying, for about 4-6 months. Naturally this means, while my period is about 5 days away, yesterday some strange symptoms showed up.

I started spotting brown yesterday, and today it’s been some heavier dark brown and pink discharge, and I’ve never had that before. I had some cramping for about 10 minutes this afternoon and there was a 2.5hr period where I was so light headed I had to lay down with my feet up. I ate, and made sure I had protein and sugar and it didn’t really help. Now I’m nauseous, and for say, the last 3 days I’ve been really bloated with very sore breasts. It’s been a busy day! None of these things are normal for me before my period.

The things I know for sure are that, if I were pregnant, it would be by no more than 2 weeks and all of the things I’m feeling seem way too soon, especially the bloating, unless I were having twins or something (which run in my family, and I’m overthinking everything, so of course I go to that.) And, I cannot be pregnant right now. Everyone at work is now asking all the fertile girls who’s next, because it apparently comes in threes, and no one’s asking me. I feel pressure but I have a lot of respect for my workplace, I know that there will be 2 very efficient girls gone during our busiest time and I don’t want to be gone as well.

I need… reassurance, or help identifying the things I’m experiencing. Could it be psychological or might I finally be pregnant now that it’s inconvenient?

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5 Responses to Trying to conceive

  1. GniNet says:

    I know this is a frustrating thing to hear, but it’s so hard to say. I also had a chemical pregnancy and noticed some nausea early in that cycle, but nothing much else. This time, when I conceived a pregnancy that seems to be viable (fingers crossed it stays that way!), I didn’t feel anything at all. In fact I was cramping pretty strongly and was sure my period would show up. Two weeks is very early for symptoms, but that is roughly the time of implantation for some women. I’ve heard stories of women who have all kinds of symptoms (nausea, faintness, sore breasts) but no positive, and women who DO wind up pregnant. It’s so frustrating to try and guess at symptoms, but all you can do is wait at this point.

    At least you can have a good attitude about it. If you aren’t pregnant, you can wait until the timing is better and have some relief about that. If you are, then it will be unfortunate for your job, but I am sure they will be understanding (you sound like an amazing employee) and you can prepare for motherhood. It sounds like there will be benefits to either outcome. I wish you the best of luck, either way!

  2. EohNet says:

    When you say you’d be two weeks pregnant, do you mean counting from your last period or counting from conception? If you are counting from conception, it is definitely possible to have bloating and sore breasts. Those can definitely show up quickly.

    You’ve been trying for months to get pregnant. You do not owe it to your work to wait to get pregnant, especially not just because other people had unplanned pregnancies first. As you know, these things don’t work on a schedule.

    I hope that everything works out for you, no matter what the outcome is.

  3. WonNope says:

    I mean 2 weeks from conception. I didn’t know it could show up that quickly! That’s neat.

    Thank you

  4. Eneita says:

    The especially fun part is when you decide to take a break is usually when it happens, too. At least…it did for myself and my husband, plus a few of our friends. We figured, “screw it, it’ll happen when it happens,” and BAM! This past January we found out we were pregnant at 4-6 weeks.

  5. WonNope says:

    Yeah that’s what a lot of people have been telling me will happen, and of course it would be good anyway! Good luck you to!

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