Seems a bit weird posting on a day like today but am getting so frustrated I’m not sure what else to do.

Background: Been with partner for 3+ years, so not a new relationship by any means though I am still very much attracted to him. No kids, neither of us use birth control and have been tested for STD’s etc.

Whenever my partner and I have sex, I get so extremely wet there is no “friction” or a lot of sensation for him and its starting to really affect our sex life. I know some females have the complete opposite problem and I almost wish I did because at least there are things to help with that!

Does anyone else have this problem? And/or do any of you know of ways to help either prevent it or ways to “dry” me out?

Any info/advice would be greatly appreciated!!!

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21 Responses to Too wet?

  1. Sehmsk says:

    It might ruin the mood a bit, but maybe you could quickly insert and remove a tampon? They’re definitely and obviously safe to insert, absorbent, and readily available.

  2. SetClo says:

    I have never actually thought of this, thank you!! Worth a shot, can’t hurt to try it and at least I know it’s safe.

  3. Reboma says:

    Just thought I’d add, I used to do this with my previous partner and it worked 🙂

  4. EifNet says:

    Sometimes I have that issue – easiest solution is to have a clean towel or rag on hand for quickly wiping yourself off a bit.

  5. SetClo says:

    I do keep a towel/cloth handy most of the time and am willing to just about anything to keep things going but he gets more frustrated than anything by having to stop etc (not the most patient person, thats for sure!)

  6. 29dWoman says:

    Seconding the keeping a cloth around to wipe

    And I will gladly trade my lack of lube :p

  7. SetClo says:

    Thanks, I do keep a towel/cloth handy most of the time but just gets a little frustrating!!

    I know I should be grateful that I have more than none/not enough and for the most part I am, don’t get me wrong! To date he has been the only partner to have a big problem with it, previous partners thought it was great/got a bit of an ego boost so its never been an issue in the past D:

  8. 29dWoman says:

    Lol oh no, you don’t need to be grateful! My lack of lube is not your issue!

    Sorry he’s having an issue with it :/

  9. SetClo says:

    Oh no, I know that, its ok! 🙂 I did a big Google search before posting yesterday and there were so many forums/webpages of people asking for advice and other people commenting that the OP should be grateful etc etc, so just thought I’d throw it in there!

    And thanks, its annoying because I have a high drive, but just another one of those things we have to overcome I suppose! He could learn to be a little more patient though I am sure we will work something out somehow!

  10. 29dWoman says:

    agh, how unhelpful :/

    Patience is always great! (this is also coming from the owner of a vagina it can take a good 10 minutes to enter XD) I bet it will, and I hope everything goes well!

  11. Enn77 says:

    Hmm. I’m trying to think, but I’m not sure – is it antihistamines that are known to dehydrate mucous membranes?

  12. Kdgle says:

    I’ve noticed that decongestants (pseudoephedrine) dry me out.

  13. Hteall says:

    It depends on the person, but pseudoephedrine dries me out, and another ovary-based-biochemistry person I know. (My spouse, on the other hand, claims that it just “thins the mucous” and it took him quite some time to accept that NO, it DRIES IT UP FOR ME.) It also raises blood pressure, and in the absence of allergies, I’d avoid using antihistamines for dryness during sex.

    More in a reply to myself so I don’t TMI everyone’s email. O:>

  14. Hteall says:

    Going on hormonal birth control might be an option, though, depending on if one wishes to roll the dice on everything else; for some, the mucous changes include drying up. (For others, getting wetter…)

    It’s probably simplest to have a washcloth around for wiping quickly… Vaginal condoms (“female” condoms) might allow lubrication to taste… There’s also a chance that the Penis Scrunchie idea might work: take some absorbent sweat socks, cut the toes out, roll up as a donut-shape, and put one around the penis like a bulky erection ring. It might soak up enough dampness to help! (And if not… well, if you bought cheap sweat socks, you still get a giggle.)

    There are soft tampons made for wearing during sex… Cheaper might be to use sea-sponges? (I have found, for instance, that a contraceptive sponge will soak up semen…)

    I hope something there will be helpful!

  15. SetClo says:

    Thank you for the comments! I do take antihistamines regularly for allergies (phenergan) but they don’t seem to affect me in any other way.

    The decongestants I will give a go. they are difficult to get here OTC though because of the pseudoephedrine content. Do you think the phenylephrine version would work?

    The soft tampons and sea sponge I will definitely look into, they sound like good, safe options! BC pill I am not as sure about as we are lazily TTC (if it happens, it happens etc, though nothing is happening now because he can’t finish the “job” ;( )

    The sports sock donut is something I have never heard of and would certainly get a laugh!! Something else to consider, thats for sure.

    Thanks again for the comments and advice, its much appreciated!

  16. Hteall says:

    I honestly don’t know if the non-pseudoephedrine decongestants will have the same effect. Since the pseudoephedrine stuff works so well for me (I kinda need it to dry things up, so I don’t get sinusitis), I only get that stuff even though I have to sign for it and all. It might be worth a try, though, since it’s easier than flashing your driver’s license, etc. (Assuming you are in the US. I don’t know if pseudoephedrine is less, or more, restricted in other countries!)

    Crossing fingers that something will work out for y’all!

  17. 010Na says:

    i’ve heard kegal exercises can help tighten up your muscles around there or just squeeze those muscles while you’re having sex might give him some sensation?

  18. SetClo says:

    I try to do these regularly, though probably not as much as I could/should.

    I’ve done a lot of googling about tightening and there was something called The Magic Stick that apparently causes the vaginal walls to tighten after being inserted for 30mins. I’m having trouble finding a lot of info on it though so am still in two minds about it and the list of ingredients didn’t inspire me either!

  19. Hteall says:

    I hate livejournal. It ate my reply, and it was long and with research. Okay, short form: I found the ingredients list, and it contains astringents and antibacterial ingredients; the astringents shrink tissues, and the antibacterial ingredients may well disrupt the good bacteria in the vaginal ecosystem that keeps the yeast in check. (One review I found said that the user got a yeast infection after every use, which would be in keeping with that.) “Cortex,” in context, refers to the outer part of a plant stem or root, and is thus kinda “what?” Pepper leaves are sometimes poisonous; it depends on the leaf. Even the edible kind may contain something that is a mild carcinogen in rats (though studies on humans suggest that humans may not metabolize the stuff into the carcinogenic form).

    …I had research in my reply! And LJ ate it! *sob*

  20. EvoGirl says:

    I get too wet sometimes, too, and then I can’t feel anything during sex. Luckily, the solution is simple: wipe yourself off with a towel, paper or cloth, and/or have him insert himself inside you, then pull out and wipe him off. To make it sexier, you could have him wipe off by rubbing his wet penis on your tummy.

  21. SetClo says:

    Thanks, I do wipe myself before, and both of us a couple times during and it does help somewhat but he is an impatient person and so gets frustrated at having to start/stop/start/stop etc. I suppose that in itself is something we need to work on!

    Wiping on my tummy is an idea though, hadn’t thought of that before and probably a bit more arousing for him than having to use a towel, so thank you for the idea!!

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