I’m a late bloomer when it comes to masturbation. I just started within the last few months and I’m pretty sold on the concept now that I’m here. So… here’s the question. I know there is no “normal” because everyone is different, but I suppose I’m wondering how common this is. I have so much energy when it comes to my “self” time that I almost avoid it because it always feels like I have to force myself to stop. I could honestly go for HOURS. Everything I’ve read has indicated that most women are okay with one orgasm and are done with it (and often feel sleepy after), but straight from the beginning it’s only served to make me more energetic and I have yet to reach a stopping point for my ability to orgasm. It’s nice sometimes, but other times it’s inconvenient because I can’t cool down and get back to life.

I suppose I’m wanting to hear back from people who have dealt with similar experiences because I don’t know if there is something I could be doing to “calm” myself down faster. I am going through some hormonal changes right now so this could be fueling my energy levels (and very likely is behind it to a great extent), but I still feel like there should be some way to get turned off, so to speak.

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19 Responses to Tips on how to “cool down”?

  1. 29dWoman says:

    Everything I’ve read has indicated that most women are okay with one orgasm and are done with it

    Out of curiosity, do you have any links to this info? Because one thing that gets played up quite a bit is that women (always excluding any non-cis women and individuals) can have multiple orgasms without the refractory period that penises have.

    How do you feel afterwards? You could try taking a break after Orgasm Number X, and wait a few minutes. My body is usually rearin to go for more as well, but I stop anyway and can calm down pretty quickly.

  2. XaGirl says:

    I’d amend your comment to “many women”–while I agree that I’m not so sure about the OP’s conclusion that “most women are okay with one orgasm,” it’s certainly true that many women still have a refractory period post-orgasm, even if they can then go on to have more orgasms after a short time.

  3. Ereoya says:

    This! Most of the time, I’m too sensitive after an orgasm to do anything more. I could count the number of times I’ve gone on to a second in single digits.

  4. Raeofa says:

    Nothing scientific, to be honest. Almost all Google results (which include women’s and men’s magazines, etc.) seem to be very, “AND YES, SOME STRANGE SPECIES OF WOMEN CAN ORGASM MORE THAN ONCE. MORE THAN ONCE!!!!!!!” which led me to wonder if I am experiencing something truly unusual or perhaps it just means that there are still a lot of women exploring their sexuality capacity etc.

    I think after the first 1-3 I could technically stop, but it’s super easy to keep going after the first one… so why stop? I don’t know. The rest are typically small and hardly worth noting, but it’s not like the enjoyment stops so… but even if I do stop, I’m usually ready to go back at it 20 minutes later, just like I never started the process. I guess this is what I mean by “energy”!

  5. 29dWoman says:

    That’s so strange! It’s completely contrary to what I’ve always heard/learned (vaginas=multiple orgasms, penises=nuh uh)

    you could always try diverting the energy elsewhere, if you have any tasks/chores/errands to do 😀

  6. Gni007 says:

    Awesome, welcome to the wonderful world of self-love. 🙂

    One thing you might try is to delay your final orgasm of the session for as long as you can. Build up to it really slowly, tease yourself, build as much tension as you can before you let yourself finish. For a lot of us this makes the orgasm itself much more intense and somewhat more likely to be satisfying. And even if it doesn’t solve your problem, it’s likely to be fun. 🙂

  7. Raeofa says:


    I should experiment with this more, but I have tried this a few times and I just seem to have more stamina with this method. I do agree that it’s more satisfying though so I probably should try different things to see if it helps.

  8. SraGirl says:

    It may just be a period of your life where you need more self-love time? 🙂 I think I might have experienced something similar for some time once, but it went away on its own after some time.
    My guess it’s that you’re very happy of your recent discovery and that for a while you’ll be super excited about this, but I think it will settle down in time. In the meanwhile, if this really feels exaggerate to you, try distracting yourself with something entirely non-sex related (Idk, watch TV, call a friend, whatever works for you) and see if this helps you!

  9. Raeofa says:

    That is probably true. I am going through an extremely stressful period of my life and I have had bouts of deep depression as well. It’s completely anecdotal to suggest this, but some days I think it really helps balance me out. This might be odd to say, but I think what I get most out of the whole experience is the relaxation aspect.

  10. UceNet says:

    I wouldn’t worry. I’m actually disappointed when I find one is enough, and that usually means there’s something else on my mind that’s ‘blocking’ me. Go with what makes you happy, and just plan your time accordingly! 🙂

    Just don’t hurt yourself, and stay hydrated!! 😛

  11. Raeofa says:


  12. OblFriut says:

    I used to be a one-shot kind of girl growing up and into my twenties, and then I started experiencing multiple orgasms.

    I was always highly sexed and FELT like i could go a long time but on the rare occasion I had an orgasm with a partner, I’d usually have to stop.

    Now though, my orgasms go forever and I have to kind of pace myself and my partner, so that I don’t totally effing exhaust both of us (mostly him)

    I find that this is affected greatly by two things 1) season 2) time of cycle.

    In the spring and into the summer, I am all WOOHOO and could have sexytimes as much as I like, especially the week leading up to my period. I could masturbate several times, daily AND still be wanting to have sex with my partner with my libido cooling off a bit in the fall and winter. It is definitely more ramped during my PMS week.

    I recommend getting a hitachi magic wand. It will never poop out on you, and, sometimes I will definitely hit a point where I feel saited with the orgasm I had. It provides a really intense vibration!

  13. Raeofa says:

    Thanks for the advice! I recently went off HBC and I know my hormones have been pretty unbalanced, so this could go along with what you’re saying. My cycles are starting to get back to normal and I have realized there are times when I definitely crave more than others.

  14. EpoSuper says:

    Have you tried using penetration in your masturbation? I find that if I have an orgasm with a dildo in, it’s a lot more likely to satisfy me.

  15. Raeofa says:

    Thanks for your input!

  16. Dniora says:

    I masturbate for one-two hours at a time or until I’m too tired to go on, normally after three to six orgasms…and it’s been that way since I was about 12, before that I had to stop after one.

    I don’t find that this interferes with my life…and sometimes I am exhausted and go to sleep, other times I decide to do dishes or clean my room right after because I feel energized and ready to do something. Nothing you’ve said seems out of the ordinary to me, and I remember when I found out masturbating was “bad” to some people and thought I should stop because of that…you just have to learn what’s normal for you and that there’s nothing bad or abnormal about what you’re doing (unless you’re missing work or something)

  17. Raeofa says:

    Thank you!

  18. Enimia says:

    No real helpful advice, but you’re not alone! I never really feel “done” when either masturbating or having sex, I don’t think I’ve ever reached a limit of orgasms before I need or want to stop…with a partner, I generally just go until they want to stop, which sometimes kind of sucks because I’m still very “energized,” as you put it…my last partner was very cuddly after sex, and while I loved cuddling with him, being pressed up against him and being very turned on from the sex and not able to do anything about it was so frustrating, to the point where I’d sometimes even cry. I sometimes wish there was an “off switch” or something for my sex drive…anyway, you’re not alone, and as far as I know there’s no real obvious way to turn yourself off. I’m sure it’s normal, if not quite typical, but it can be irritating for sure.

    Also, I don’t know if this is the case for you, but I find my appetite for food is very similar…I only feel like stopping when I’m so full I feel sick, I’ve often wondered if my insatiable appetite and insatiable libido are related, like some kind of brain chemistry issue that affects both? When I went on SSRIs a couple years ago I actually *hoped* it would kill my sex drive like they do for so many people…but alas, not one bit.

  19. Raeofa says:

    It helps to hear that I’m not the only one like this. I’m not the type to discuss this with family members but I wonder if it’s something that’s genetic? Either way, I think it’s going to end up being both a blessing and a curse.

    I have a very love/hate relationship with food. On a normal day I can have some loose self control over it, but when I’m close to my period I’m pretty much nonstop with everything, haha. I was on HBC for a few years and thought I was functioning normal, but my libido skyrocketed after going off. I am thinking about going back on (for multiple reasons) but I am not sure if I want to give this up. It is hard to be “warmed up” for so long, but I kind of think it’s worth it. Hopefully you do too! I guess it’s one of those time when you have to take the good with the bad.

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