Hello, VPers! I’m not entirely sure if this the appropriate place to ask, but I generally trust the advice I find here and thought it was worth checking out. I am looking for resources about ED. My boyfriend (cis-male) sometimes experiences erectile problems and I am looking for pointers on how to support him and/or help him. Any advice? Books or websites you can recommend?

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2 Responses to Resources for my BF

  1. OyrZero says:

    Main thing is to not sweat it. Think of it like sometimes you might not get as wet as you feel you think you ‘should’ from how turned-on you are. It is just a lot more visible on the guy.

    Without knowing generally what age your boyfriend is, I am assuming it isn’t an age-related, typical change in his erections. Much of the ED resources are focused on age-related ED, so may not be all that useful to you, unless he is ‘older’ (like me!).

    There is an LJ group called phallicpregunta for male sort of problems, but it isn’t very active. Guys are shy I think.

    One thing that helps me is to focus on my partner and sensing their excitement will certainly help me if the erection is being a bit ‘pokey’. Make sure that you both focus on the overall pleasure and fun of sharing sexual intimacy; it is very easy to focus on an erection and PIV sex as the main event, but it doesn’t have to be. You may be ok with a love-making session even when you don’t reach orgasm, just because it was fun and pleasurable; if you both can get that attitude, where getting an erection and having PIV sex isn’t such a focus, that takes some of the performance stress off him where you both are super watching how he is doing erection-wise.

    The main thing is to not worry about it unless it gets to the point where he basically never gets an erection, even masturbating. That would call for a visit to the Dr.

    If you can give us more information about when he doesn’t get an erection, that might help us give more specific advice and resources.

  2. SmuClo says:

    This might be a good resource–I received a copy from the publisher but haven’t had a chance to read it yet so can’t personally recommend it: Penis Power: The Ultimate Guide to Male Sexual Health

    It has good reviews so far, might be worth looking into!

    (edited to fix link…)

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