Hi everyone. I am a 23 year old female who has never been on birth control before. My fiancé and I are both virgins who are waiting for marriage to have sexual intercourse. We are getting married next year and want to be able to have sex without using condoms and worrying about getting pregnant. I don't want to have children for at least the next 3 years. 

Lately, I have been researching different birth control methods to try to find one that will suit my sex life the most. I do not want to go on the Pill because you have to take it everyday and I am a very absent minded person. I might forget and that would be very bad. I also do not want any birth control that would require insertion inside my vagina.

So far Depo Provera and Implanon seem to be the best choices for me. I would like to know your experiences with them. Which would you recommend I get for birth control? 

Thank you!

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10 Responses to Recommendations on Birth Control?

  1. Keezoa says:

    First off, congrats on your wedding plans! what an exciting time for you both! 😀
    Now, actually about serious topics. My opinion is that if you haven’t ever taken hormonal birth control, maybe try out something less intense for a while? I’ve been on Depo Provera, and I really hated it (it caused me to be intensely moody, and have tons of vaginal dryness, which at 17 kind of sucked). However, I had to wait like, 3-4 months for the hormones to get out of my body and those months sucked. It would especially suck if you had some uncomfortable side-effects like chronic yeast infections, and wouldn’t be able to shake them until you were rid of the hormones.
    Have you thought about something like the Ortho-Evra Patch? I personally wasn’t a good candidate for it (somehow the hormones and other circumstances provoked BV) but you only have to place it on once a week, for three weeks of the month! And if you find the hormones don’t agree with you, you can just peel it off and no worries!

  2. CitFru says:

    Husband and I were in the same situation, and after lots of research, we ended up choosing Nuvaring. It worked really well and wasn’t at all bothersome physically (of course, I’m not at all squicked out by reaching up in there, being a cup user and all). Depo and Implanon kinda scared me…what if they do it and then you find out the hormone levels/balance in that particular one don’t suit you? With Depo you’re stuck with the effects till they wear off, with Implanon I assume you have to pay to have them remove it. Nuvaring gave me the freedom of only having to think about it once a month, instead of trying to remember to take pills every day (I would have been knocked up in days if I had been depending on myself that way), without being such a long-term decision.

    I also was told by two gynos that I could leave it in for 4 weeks and then just switch, and suppress my horrible periods that way. Normal is 3 weeks in, 1 out, then put the new one in. I did 4 weeks a few times in a row then would do a month of 3 in/1 out, just to make sure anything that needed flushed out was getting taken care of. I loved it!

  3. SseNope says:

    I second the Patch recommendation. If you don’t want an oral pill and you don’t want to insert things in your vagina, you’re pretty much left with Depo, Norplant/Implanon, the Patch or non-hormonal options like FAM or condoms. Withdrawal can be effective, but requires a lot of communication and experience in partnered sex.

    As a fellow absent-minded person, I would also like to suggest an IUD. I know you said you don’t want something that requires vaginal insertion, but this is a little different: The doc does it, and then you never think about it again. It’s not like a diaphragm, cervical cap, sponge or NuvaRing that require regular insertion.

    You can get them without hormones (Paragard, in the States, though there are others elsewhere), or with a little bit of progesterone (Mirena). The Paragard and other copper iuds do come with increased bleeding and cramping, but you don’t have to worry about doing badly with hormones. The Mirena has enough progesterone that most people experience decreased or eliminated periods, but not enough to bother most people who are sensitive to hormones.

    IUDs aren’t for everyone, and they do take some adjustment from the uterus. But they’re incredibly effective, inexpensive in the long run, and have a very high continuation rate at one year. They don’t impact your future fertility, and are absolutely appropriate for people like you and me who have never been pregnant.

    If you’re interested, check out iud_divas for more personal stories and some useful links. I suggest you try the FAQ tag to start with, then the long term updates tag.

    PS: pee after sex!

  4. Hteall says:

    (Seconding knittinggoddess. And explaining what I never had explained till I came to VP — many people get their urethras irritated, with bacteria pushed into them, during PIV sex. This can cause UTIs — urinary tract infections. UTIs are inconvenient on their own, but untreated by antibiotics, there is a chance they can move into the kidneys, and kidney infections, untreated, can become fatal. Peeing after sex washes out the bacteria that got pushed into them, and helps prevent UTIs. Taking cranberry pills also helps prevent them, but that’s an everyday thing, not just “after sex” thing.

    Other things I wished I’d known before marriage include: Cold sores are oral herpes. Make sure that you and your partner know your cold-sore status before engaging in oral sex, because HSV-1 will jump to the genitals pretty easily, even though it’s the so-called “oral” strain. (Fortunately, my fellow thinks he had cold sores as a kid, and thus far has not shown any signs of getting mine either orally or genitally. Whew!!))

    (Have fun!)

  5. Remoma says:

    I was on Depo Provera for a number of years and absolutely loved it. I only (reluctantly) went off it after 8 or 9 years of being on it when a bone density scan came back low. But my understanding is that it generally takes a long time for that to become an issue with Depo (as in my case), and you can monitor any bone density issues with a simple heel scan at your doctor each year. Taking calcium while you’re on it is a good idea as well. I was not as religious about my calcium as I wish I had been. I wonder if I might have been able to stay on it if I had been better about that.

    My one piece of advice if you decide to try Depo… start it way earlier than you need it. While I had zero issues when I started it, one of my friends had almost three months of off and on bleeding when she first started it, and ended up changing methods. So allow yourself PLENTY of time in advance of your wedding date to get started on it and see how it effects you (same with Implanon) so that you can make changes if necessary or get over the initial spotting/etc. that may be involved. (Some people may not be concerned about those things, but I am just pointing out that it’s something to consider in case you are.)

  6. AssFriut says:

    I know a few friends who were on depo provera, went off it and are having difficulty conceiving as it takes quite a bit of time to get out of your system

    “Delayed return of fertility. The average return to fertility is 9 to 10 months after the last injection. By 18 months after the last injection, fertility is the same as that in former users of other contraceptive methods” http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Depo-Provera

    I personally didn’t go with the shot because of that window – but then, you are younger than me. I chose nuvaring and had little issues past the first month. I would of went with the patch, but it has a weight maximum. I am moderately absent minded (I fail at remembering my multivitamins) but I leaned on the side of lazyness as I know if I set cues, I’d remember to take the pill if I chose that.

    You could also just try the pill right now for a couple months and see how it goes for you. You know, choose a time you are always awake, set an alarm on phone or get your fiance helping you remember too.

  7. 29dWoman says:

    I’m also gonna second the IUD suggestion. The only method that for me has truly been “set it and forget it.”

  8. 29dWoman says:

    Ooops, but it does need to be inserted via the vagina :p

  9. Begana says:

    I wouldn’t go on Depo if I’d never been on HBC – if you don’t like it, you’re stuck with the side effects and you can’t discontinue its use. Implanon is the same, only you can have it removed by a doctor. I’d probably do the patch if I were you, since you could discontinue using it if you didn’t like it without having to go to the doctor.

  10. 38ere says:

    Just an FYI, you can only take depo for 2 years otherwise it starts breaking down the minerals in your bones and causes osteoporosis.

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