Okay, here is a question about me! To preface, I am going to the OB on Thursday and will be speaking to her about this as well.

I am 23, 103 pounds and 5 feet tall, have been having PIV sex for the last 9 years and had a baby 3 years ago vaginally with a third degree natural tear, she was 7 pounds 5 ounces. I’ve been on the mini-pill since September & it totally stops my periods. I have a history of hemorrhoids before and after baby. Those, though possibly unrelated, can get pretty bad at time although rarely painful. Is it normal if they look more like a prolapse after particularly difficult bowel movements than being painful and bloody? What I mean is that it’s like my anus puckered/swelled (lovely description) and they don’t hurt. My dad and brother both get them and they are painful, mine are usually just go down themselves with some Prep H.

However, I have this peeing issue. I have to pee before sex, in the middle of sex, and after sex even when I have cut my liquid intake hours before to avoid this. I cannot comfortably have sex or orgasm if I have ANY urine in my bladder. When the steady stream stops, I still have an urge and usually have to sit and try and completely relax to get the rest to come out. If that doesn’t work I usually have to bear down repeatedly to get the urine out (BAD! BAD! I know!) and it seems like it just keeps coming and coming sometimes. Often, even after I pee, I will stand up and go to wipe and push a little to make sure I am done and end up peeing all over the place. I guarantee I can pretty much void some bit of urine at any time of the day. I do not drink an ungodly amount of liquids or anything. Mostly water and Powerade.

In addition to this, I frequently have slips when I pee a little (often enough that I need to change my underwear and pants/shorts/whatever) from either coughing, laughing, jumping, or sneezing. This really sucks because we have a trampoline that my daughter LOVES and I just cannot jump on it with her. So, kegels, you say? Yes, I do. I also have Lelo’s pleasure balls which seem to help some but I feel like the issue is bigger than this. Although only a few people know I have this problem, it is extremely embarrassing for me.

It really puts a damper on our sex life when I am in pain due to having to urinate even the tiniest amount and have to break the session to go, sometimes twice, and also after (although I do this to avoid UTI and to displace semen) and my fiance is average in size. The pain is the worst when we do a missionary style position. I have only ever had 1 UTI in my life.

Another thing, which may or may not be relevant, is that my bowel movements are rare. I surmise it is due to not getting enough fiber so I am going to get on that but even when I do take in fiber, it can take me a long time to go. I usually only have 1 BM a week and they are REALLY big which does not, at all, help my hemorrhoids. If it is especially wide I will have to press on my perineum to expel it although that is pretty rare.

So, it seems like there may be two issues at hand here and I am assuming I can discuss both Thursday with my doctor but I also thought I would post here to get some feedback.

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18 Responses to Pevlic Floor Issues?

  1. AetFire says:

    I know being constipated can affect urinary stuff with kids, would assume its the same with adults. That may also be a source of your during sex pain, I know if I’m stopped up, sex can be a little painful. </p>

    I’m not sure how you feel about OTC things like miralax, but it’s usually recommended to do enough for a clean out, then start “fresh” buy using it once daily to keep yourself regular. Good luck!!

  2. XdxWoman says:

    Thanks! I have had a lot of experience with that sort of thing. I think I may get some enemas as those have been the most likely to work for me. I don’t plan on over doing it with them but I do have times when I can’t remember the last time I’ve had a BM and that is not good.

  3. 38ere says:

    My daughter has issues w/ holding her poop in b/c she is afraid it will hurt when it comes out. Thus the poop gets bigger and bigger, until when it DOES come out, it DOES hurt. Vicious cycle. I started using these glycerine suppositories once a week, and they literally work within 5 seconds of giving her one.. she will poop. The doctor said that 1/week is fine too.. And they aren’t as messy or invasive as an enema.

  4. Xoova says:

    hmm…I can’t be much help here, but I wanted to mention that I sometimes have trouble peeing when I’m constipated. Also sometimes when I have normal BMs, I’ll pee a little first and think I’m done, but wayyyyy more comes out after the BM. It’s almost like it blocks it somehow. Yours is probably not this simple, but it might be related, so be sure to mention that part with your doctor!

  5. Xoova says:

    Oh, and remember that increasing your fiber intake is not an instant process. Make sure to do it slowwwwwwly and with LOTS of fluids, otherwise it can just stop you up even more. You may know this already, but I thought I’d throw it out there just in case. Especially since if I were in your position with the peeing issues, it might make me hesitant to drink a ton of water, but it really is important to get things moving.

  6. XdxWoman says:

    Thank you, good information for me to remember.

  7. Etafornia says:

    the chronic constipation will make the hemmeroids worse because you keep constantly having to strain to have a bowel movement.

    while it may seem counter-intuitive, INCREASE your liquid intake. having a really good clean-out then slowly add more fiber into your diet…whether it be more fiberous foods or a fiber suppliment, either one would be a good thing for your body. while the whole “oh you carry X amount of (whatever food “they” dont want you to eat) around in your colon for X amount of time!!!” is bull, you DO need to have more frequent bowel movements than once a week. having sluggish intestines isnt good for *all* of your health, you know?

    having a full colon is also probably not helpful in the painful sex arena, lets face it, you are a small person to begin with (she says, being ALL of 5’1″ herself, hee!) and there is only so much room available in your pelvis. and yep, chronic constipation HAS been shown to be a factor in children wetting their beds at night, so it stands to reason that the pressure on the nerves down there is being interpreted by your brain as “oh, have to empty the bladder” when the issue is “dude, the bladder is fine, the message is coming from the colon, and things just arent moving in a timely manner!”

    short of it is: pain is not a normal condition of the body. if you have constant issues with pain in that area, something is not working optimally. dealing with the chronic constipation with an OTC fiber suppliment (i’m using psyllium capsules myself) is fairly easy, and it could only help the hemmeroid issue to be passing softer stools more frequently.

  8. XdxWoman says:

    Thank you so much! This was super helpful. I will go tomorrow and get some fiber supplements and try and get things moving normally. My fiance goes after EVERY MEAL. It is amazing.

    I don’t feel full/constipated but maybe because that’s my “normal”. We do have anal sex, usually try and plan it around my bathroom usage, obviously, but even when I don’t there is rarely…residue.

    But yeah, my movements are usually VERY VERY large or long. Today was when I had to use my hand to push it out and it really made the hemmies angry so I finally decided to post. It was not pleasant and thankfully not common for me. To add, a lot of times my BMs are “rabbit pellets”; not in size but they will be a bunch of small balls or a giant, misshaped poop composed of a bunch of balls, if you will (that is what happened today) and often in varying shades.

    I apologize for discussing my bowel movements in such depth with you.

  9. Etafornia says:

    i did home health care for a massively obese man who literally could not wipe his own ass, or change his own socks for that matter. plus, i’m a mom, too. it doesnt phase me a bit! 😀

    “normal” bowel movements should have some water component, and NOT be rabbit pellets (and yes, i got those too!) or one giant “OW OW OW, GET IT OUT!!” experience, either. the varying shades comes because its *all* the food waste compacted really far, so a week’s worth of food? different colors. (i put normal in quotes because everyone differs some)

    read the directions on the package, and you may well be better off getting things going with a laxative, then slowly starting everyday fiber usage.

  10. Nityle says:

    I don’t have much advice because honestly I could have written this post myself in a lot of ways. One thing I did learn about emptying the bladder whilst pregnant, was to lean forward and put pressure on the bladder. I found it SUPER helpful before, during, and after pregnancy. That’s all i have to offer. Oh also for me once I started drinking the CORRECT amount of water daily I noticed my BM’s were softer, frequent, and not a hassle. My hemmoroids basically disappeared. I’ve been lax in my water intake and have noticed a BIG difference in BM.

    ETA: Do squats to help with pelvic floor strength. I read something on here about how Kegels, while good for SOME things, were not ideal in strengthening the pelvic floor and that squatting was the best. I squat and pee in the shower and try to just do random things squatting down.

  11. Kdgle says:

    I have found that squats -do- help with pelvic floor strength. When I first started squatting with biggish weight (I’m 210lb and I squat about 150lb.) I would involuntarily pee a bit. But over time, the problem has disappeared.

  12. XdxWoman says:

    Thank you!!

  13. Dekdy says:

    Squats do help with pelvic floor tone. Basically, the issue with kegels is that they only work some layers of the pelvic floor muscles. Additionally, while kegels work on contracting the muscle, pelvic floor tone is about the muscles being able to both contract and relax as appropriate. There are a variety of pelvic floor exercises besides kegels, but one thing squats do is to strengthen the glutes — the muscles that attach to the back of the pelvis — which can help bring (or keep) the pelvis (and also the pelvic floor muscles) into correct alignment.

  14. Hteall says:

    If you only have 1 a week… Have you had your thyroid tested? (Have I asked you this before? Probably! It’s my pet hobby-horse…) Hypothyroidism — something that can show up after having a kid — slows down your metabolism, including how quickly your body moves stuff through the digestive tract.

    I would also note that urinary incontinence is something that can result from vaginal childbirth, I have heard — you may need a urologist and/or a physical therapist with that sort of speciality. (Do not let your doctor poopoo this!)

    Good luck!

  15. Eneita says:

    Hopefully this will help. I’m currently 16w pregnant and have been having rabbit pellet issues lately. I started making sure I ate an apple a day, plus carrot sticks…and I’m now going regularly. Along with tons of water. It really will help.

  16. StcWo says:

    I have the same problem as you, but have had for many years (I have IC). I also suffer from IBS since having my baby 6 months ago, so though I’m not sure if constipation does indeed make things worse, your bowel problems do in turn interfere with things though as IBS and urinary problems go hand in hand.

    I haven’t really any advice to offer as I’ve not managed to get my own bladder issues under control, but like everyone else I suggest taking a fiber supplement and trying to clear yourself out before perhaps taking one daily to keep things regular. I have to do this from time to time 🙂

    Hope you manage to sort things out and I hope that you manage to get some answers from your doctor!

  17. Sssne says:

    My brother had intense pain in his groin as a child for years and years, and had a similar bowel movement schedule to you. He went on a diet meant to clear his system out, so tons of liquids, fruit for breakfast, no rice, etc. I myself had some discomfort and felt like I always had to urinate, thinking it was a UTI I went on antibiotics, but am surprised that since going on a diet similar to the one my brother had as a child, I am now experiencing far less urges to urinate, and am not experiencing any odd twinges during sex.

    Try to drink tons of water, eat a lot of fruit, see if you can make the majority of your diet fruits and vegetables and high-fiber options for a week or so, even two, and see if it helps you (increased intake of water too, of course!)

    There are also over the counter laxatives in powder form you can mix into juice or tea and drink the night before, which help you to have a bowel movement the next morning and be ’empty’ for the rest of the day, but I’m not as educated on them.

    Good luck!

  18. EroNo says:

    I had really bad constipation issues as a child and we could always tell when things were doctor-time worthy because my bladder would start doing exactly what you describe. Same goes for my brother who had the same issues. While prolapse or other pelvic floor issues are certainly not out of the question, know that bladder problems are pretty common with severe constipation and it could just be a matter of fixing your bowel movements. My brother was on Miralax for a long time back when it was prescription and it was very effective… I believe it’s over the counter now so that might be worth a shot?

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