My missing period finally showed up Wednesday night..unfortunately I had date night planned this weekend and realllly wanted to have some sexytimes. I’m quite sure my guy won’t go for it, although I haven’t asked…but how would you broach the topic of period sex? I mean my flow isn’t that heavy considering I’m on HBC, but I’m sure if he stared at the condom he would notice. We can do it in the dark like we always do and maybe that would make him feel better.
I’m all for laying down a towel and going for it. He is a bit more “conservative” than I am though. I’ve never done it before but I’m open.

For those of you who do it, does it feel differently? Does it smell? Can I douche prior to so that I can flush out any “fresh” blood? How have the men(or women) in your life reacted to the thought of period sex?

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25 Responses to Period sex

  1. Erolight says:

    My husband is the one who suggested it, so I don’t have the same issue as you in regards to asking…but…in the event he is open to the idea:

    -definitely lay down a towel, or do it in the shower. I have noticed that it isn’t too noticeable until we are finished, that’s when the craziness happens with flow.

    -To me, it feels extra good because of the sensitivity I have down there. It is already pretty wet due to the blood, plus the fact I’m always super turned on during my period.

    -I personally have never noticed any smell, but we usually shower right after anyway, so it isn’t around long enough to notice 🙂

  2. XdxWoman says:

    Yes, the shower is a really good idea!

  3. EroWo says:

    I’ve had sex on a light flow once or twice. It didn’t feel different and it didn’t smell from up where our faces were. He didn’t mind.

  4. XdxWoman says:

    The men I’ve done it with have never seemed to mind. I always would say something like “I’m on my period, I don’t mind, personally, but it’s your call. It isn’t really heavy but that doesn’t mean there won’t be a bit of a clean-up, mostly for me probably. We can shower together after.”

    Now, I’ve started my period during sex as well and that was REALLY, REALLY messy. Mostly for me but just generally messy overall. Otherwise, I find that my thighs and vulva will have a bloody residue. He will probably get some on his testicles and possibly thighs.

    Although, as we all know, every woman is different so your experience may be cleaner.

    I am not a fan of douching and don’t ever suggest it so I’m going with no on that front.

    I did not notice a smell and it didn’t feel any different although I am always a lot more sexually aroused when on my period.

    To add, my fiance and I have never had sex on my period, that I remember (we dated for a while years ago when we were 14/15 so it could have happened then) because I haven’t had a period in 4 years but he says if we were using a condom, he wouldn’t have a problem at all. He is NOT AT ALL a fan of condoms so it must give him the heebies a little bit but not enough to say no.

  5. NwoSmall says:

    generally as long as I’m not feeling sore or otherwise unsexy, my partner and I have PIV sex during my period. We usually just throw a towel down and he’ll usually be on top. Neither of us are really grossed out by menses, but neither of us are really staring at the condom afterwards either.

    There isn’t usually a smell, and if you are afraid there might be (from the blood that gets stuck in your pubes, etc) you might feel more comfortable showering first (or with your guy!).
    I don’t know that douching is necessary, especially if you have a light flow.

    My best advice about bringing it up ahead of time, but also when you’re already on the subject of sexy time. Let him know ‘hey, I’m still up for sexy time if you are, but I thought I would mention I have my period right now”

    Make it clear to him that you’re comfortable trying it if he is.

    Good luck!

  6. Rarko says:

    I only date men who are okay with period sex, so I have some experience with it. I generally bring it up by saying “Oh, by the way, I’m on my period, just to let you know” and then continue with sexytimes and see how they react. I’ve only been with one guy who would turn me down for sex if I was on my period, all the others would proceed as normal except would avoid oral and probably fingering too and jump straight to PIV. But in all honesty most guys I’ve been with would even perform oral as long as it wasn’t heavy bleeding.

    Anyway, if your period is really light you may not even need a towel, but you can use one if you like. I personally use instead cups during my period, which make things much cleaner but can be felt by the man in certain positions, so it sometimes takes a few times to find a position that is comfortable. But I much prefer using the instead cups to limit clean up, because during my first 3 days it can be REALLY messy. With the cups we don’t even use a towel, or need any more clean-up than usual.

    There will be no smell. The “rank smell” associated with periods comes from blood sitting around for hours while being exposed to oxygen and eaten by bacteria sitting on your skin, fresh blood does not smell like that.

    Don’t douche, that’s no good for you for a variety of reasons.

  7. 29dWoman says:

    Even with oral I had a partner who was all up for it if we were in the shower. Didn’t happen (I will not have my makeup ruined midday by the shower because I’m like that) but the extra points were scored on his part.

  8. Rarko says:

    I definitely consider it to get a few extra points. In my experience most men won’t openly admit to it, but in the “heat of the moment” during a light day will go to town if they feel compelled, and just won’t mention it. It’s usually not a frequent thing, but it happens.

  9. Gni007 says:

    I’ve never had a problem with period sex. For PIV, back when I did it, yeah, put down a towel. If he’s really grossed out don’t push, but if you just normalize it – I’m bleeding but it’s cool, we can still have sex, we’ll just shower after – he might discover there’s nothing particularly gross going on.

    Personally I’m not at all distressed by menstrual flow when I’m with a woman. It makes things a little messier, that’s all. I have a dark maroon towel… it really, really helps if you can convince yourself there’s nothing gross about menstruation. 🙂

  10. LriSuper says:

    Yeah..that’s the thing..i truly hate my period. I hate to see it, smell it..cramps..i generally skip my periods with HBC and only have 2 or 3 a year, but I’m super aroused right now and he’s been out of town for a few days so I was looking forward to seeing him, then my period started. As long as he won’t smell anything, I think I’m ok. I don’t think the flow is very heavy right now so it may not be a problem…I just dont know what his reaction will be (i have a very good idea though)

  11. Nekstyle says:

    My boyfriend don’t mind period sex. He was the one who asked, if I want to have sex with him although I’ve had my period. In this case I am the one who’s always feel not that comfortable when it gets to that topic. But he’s okay with that.

    A towel on bed is definitley important. To me, it feels good. Everything’s more sensitive and intensive, it’s really easy for me to get an orgasm. For him it feels really wet and sesitive and intensive aswell.

    After that, there’s always blood on the towel and a bit on him and a bit on me , so we always get a shower.

    It is an act of intimicy and special and strange at the same time.

  12. Remoma says:

    I usually just ask “Do you mind period sex?” sometime well before sex. Most of my partners have been more worried about potential clean-up of bedding or whatnot than worried about contacting blood. Never noticed a smell.

    Unlike a lot of people, my sensitivity and sex drive go way down on my period so I’m not a giant fan, but it doesn’t bother me. Sometime sex increases my flow and sometimes it does the opposite, so be prepared. I like to be on top so I can keep track of drips, if they happen, and I don’t even need to worry about a towel that way. I’ve noticed if I’ve showered recently that tends to clear a lot of blood away and make things less messy, too.

  13. Remoma says:

    And also, some people use softcups during their periods for sex, so they won’t bleed on their partner at all. Never tried them personally, though.

  14. 29dWoman says:

    I never broached the topic, sex just usually happens, period or no. It adds extra lube which is pretty SWEET.

    My partner actually mentioned being “ugh” at periods in general (I was unamused, to say the least) and pointed out that he was fine with his sperm being ejaculated everywhere, not sure why period fluids were so radically different. And I won.

  15. LriSuper says:

    Yeah my guy has issues with my pubic hair..or hair in general down there…he shaves most of his..i trimmed mine because he made a comment one day. Normally I don’t shave at all as I feel i am a grown woman and i’m supposed to have hair down there. I don’t think its excessively long now but that’s the reason he won’t do oral sex on me..so I said “well I’ll just go without it, because I ain’t shaving it no more than it already is”. He doesn’t seem to mind me swallowing his cum, but I’m sure he’s not going to go for this! LOL

  16. 29dWoman says:

    If he’s being given the privilege of being able to share your body, that should be the end of it imo. Glad you stuck with what’s comfortable for you! Preferences are preferences, but that doesn’t mean someone else should change something to meet them. Starbucks certainly aint bringing back their eggnog latte in the spring just bc I have a preference for that drink lol…and all the other drinks are just as good, just different! So glad I could tie coffee into this XD

  17. NieDr says:

    that’s a very good point 🙂

  18. NexWoman says:

    Personally, period sex has never really bothered me. If I’m feeling really uncomfortable, it’s a heavy day, I’m cramping and bloating, I may not feel sexy and up for having sex, but neither I nor my husband mind otherwise.

    I usually use a towel, and then husband washes off immediately after. It’s never been so bad that he has clots on him after he pulls out, but there has been some blood. I haven’t noticed much of a difference, save for extra lubrication.

    I really liked what my health teacher said in high school. “If you and your partner are not ready to have (PIV) sex while you or your partner are on your period, you are not ready to have sex.” Of course this is a broad generalization, and seems targeted at heterosexual, cis-gendered couples, but I thought that was really interesting, and was glad it helped remove the stigma for me later in life.

  19. NieDr says:

    I don’t think douching during period is a good idea
    but a tampon taken out right before sex actually helps a lot

    but I would still tell him, and say that it’s very little and such
    if it’s not pouring blood from your vagina it’s usually more than fine and feels the same to me
    and most of ppl I know and ever had a conversation about it don’t find period sex gross

  20. Reglight says:

    My boyfriend and I had a hotel room booked when my period happened along, but it was on one of the later, lighter days. I told him, and said it was up to him. That was really the only situation I had to deal with. I wouldn’t make a big deal of it, just kind of bring it up casually and gauge his reaction on whether it’s a no-go or not. The only complaint my boyfriend had was that we were fresh out of the shower (since I’m not tall enough to do it in the shower) and he wound up with blood spatter on his lower torso and legs. 😛

    I use a menstrual cup, so even if I am on my period, PIV-less sexytimes can ensue. If you’re open to the idea of cups, I’d highly recommend it, especially if he ends up being squeamish about touching an area where blood might end up on him.

  21. Rueova says:

    I have had sex on my period. I prefer in the shower, for obvious reason, during my heavy days. My husband is fine with it. If you do not want to do it in the shower, try use Instead cup or similar. Read the reviews in the link! Many reviews involved the sex on period. 🙂

    Instead Softcups (http://www.amazon.com/Instead-Softcups-Feminine-Protection-Count/dp/B000X29GY6/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1330130093&sr=8-1)

    You can find the instead cups at pharmacy retails or Target (if they are still selling it).

  22. Enu99 says:

    Suggestion! I actually heard this from a porn star.

    My partner has recently come around to the idea of period sex because it helps my cramps.

    I went and bought a sea sponge from the chemist, cut it down to size (my vaginal canal is fairly small) and inserted it like a tampon before we got down to sexy times. He didn’t feel it, it soaked up the blood and we were able to have sex like we normally do.

    It took a bit of fiddling around to get the sponge out afterwards, but you can always tie a string around the sponge and tuck it up inside to grab when you’re done. 🙂

    All in all, I was extremely pleased with how it went.

  23. Serlight says:

    I have done this as well. To be fair the first couple times weren’t exactly intentional, I just forgot about it until the next morning. But he didn’t feel anything either time, so, whatevs. The sea sponge-sex was post IUD insertion though, so even my heaviest days were fairly light in my world (as I understand, my IUD heavy days are around what is considered “average/medium” flow).

    Before the IUD, medium to heavy days sometimes included medical personnel threatening blood transfusions, and cramps + migraines w/ aura, so period sex wasn’t really a common thing. However, sometimes I would be feeling fine or just SUPER HORNY and decide to go for it. I definitely prefer the more spontaneous sex of the sea sponges (but as a squirter, laying down towels first isn’t uncommon anyway), but I found that if we went kinda slow with the foreplay, making out and the up-top foreplay and the me-going-down foreplace before I took my pants off, my flow would be gone or all-but, and no mess to consider. There was one time that if I hadn’t had a towel to clutch on the way to the bathroom it would have looked like a murder scene (the towel would have been ruined if it weren’t dark blue anyway, it was SOAKED). But mostly, if I didn’t dawdle in bed afterward and went to put underwear and a pad back on immediately, there was no issue.

    Each person’s flow is different. But I wanted to give you some success stories to ease your mind a bit. Personally, I can’t do period sex with someone unless I’m in a committed relationship with them (for varying definitions of “committed”). If you want it, and he’s willing, it will probably help you relax if you put a towel down and just go for it. If you change your mind when the clothes start flying, there’s no shame in that, just say so and only do whatever you’re comfortable with.

  24. Iniofa says:

    I might be the odd one out as I don’t really like period PIV sex. Tried it a few times (my boyfriend doesn’t mind and I’ve never noticed any smell) but somehow, for me the blood adds extra friction and doesn’t work as extra lubrication, so things get painful quickly. (I also get drier the week before my period starts.) We just find other ways to have fun (digital sex or oral for him) because my sex drive is still there 🙂

  25. TacWoman says:

    My partner’s super into it, not because of the blood, but because it’s more sex, lol. it gets quite bloody when he pulls out, so put down a towel. One towel is enough. We shower afterward bc dried blood gets sticky and flaky. There’s no smell (lol) but if he goes down on you, it’s gonna taste kinda bloody. He says the texture when he’s fucking me is different than when I get wet bc I’m turned on, but it’s not bad.

    Tbh I think I might get upset if my partner WEREN’T into period sex. It’s not dirty! Feminist rage! :/

    If he’s not into it at first, he prob doesn’t know how to react? bc my partner and I were each others’ first everything, and he wasn’t into pubes either at first, and wanted me smooth all the time, and now he doesn’t want me to shave ever again. Actually, he’s just cool with everything now. (I never did listen to him though. You gotta do whatcha want to do, because it’s your body and not up to him, you know?)

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