So I'm sleeping with a girl who is experiencing some vaginal issues at the moment. I don't really know what her issues are, but most recently she's come down with a UTI, and I'm basically just wondering if I could have, in any way, caused her contracting a UTI. Sex comprised of fingering and oral, and it wasn't rough, and our vaginal juices didn't come into contact (I fingered her, she fingered me, we didn't finger ourselves during), and neither of us have STIs. As far as I can tell her issues are kind of like a stubborn yeast infection, but not quite. That's a little vague, but my main question is "is it possible for the sex we had to have caused her UTI?"

Thanks in advance! Basically I'm just feeling a bit upset that I might have done this to her in someway, and while we won't be having sex until her UTI is cured, I don't want it to happen again because of her underlying issues (which her doctor is a little confused about also).

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8 Responses to lesbian sex and UTIs

  1. SseNope says:

    Unfortunately, absolutely yes it’s possible. UTIs caused by sex just mean that the fecal bacteria (or skin bacteria, in some cases) has migrated into the urethra. It’s not an STI, or transmitted like a STI, though some STIs can cause UTI-like symptoms. Other UTI causes include the classic not wiping front to back, holding a full bladder for too long, and wearing too-tight pants. (That list goes on and on.)

    Peeing after sex is a good deterrent, but not perfect. I’m so darn sensitive that I need to pee, clean my vulva off, and take regular cranberry supplements! Some people’s urethras are just more sensitive, and other people’s anatomy just lend themselves to more frequent UTIs. I think in the second case, the urethra might be really close to the vagina and therefore takes a lot of friction.

    You might be interested in this recent post. Good links in there, too.

  2. Hpa77 says:

    Thanks. I thought the answer was probably a yes, I remember one time I got a UTI right after some pretty rough sex with a boy I was dating once, and it seemed like more than just a coincidence. I feel bad being the potential (part of a) reason for a UTI on top of all the other things she’s got going on, but she says it’s not my fault and she shouldn’t feel bad, but you know, I just don’t want it to happen again! Thanks for replying though!

  3. SseNope says:

    If it helps, I don’t resent my boyfriend after I get a UTI. Well, maybe a little, but it’s more in the joking “this pregnancy is all your fault” sort of way. (Note: not pregnant.) I never even got one UTI before having sex with him, so it’s really the combo of our anatomy that makes me more susceptible. But I don’t blame him at all.

    On the other hand, I appreciate when he does feel apologetic and takes me to the doc or picks up my antibiotics. That falls into the “taking care of a sick loved one” category rather than reparation.

    Beth’s point about vaginal bacteria is a great one; I didn’t mention it because I couldn’t trust my memory. But yeah, it’s entirely possible that the vagina issues are contributing.

    Would your girlfriend be interested in the Vulvapedia? The pages on BV and yeast may be super helpful for her to read on her own. She can also email the mods with a post for them to make instead.

  4. Hpa77 says:

    Oh she definitely doesn’t resent me! She’s too busy telling me I shouldn’t be feeling bad at all! I’ll pass on the link to her, thanks.

  5. Hteall says:

    Even the normally good bacteria in the vagina can sometimes cause a UTI if they get into the bladder — the bladder just doesn’t want any bacteria there! And the mouth is full of bacteria, which can be very evil! (Brawlers can frequently get infected cuts on their hands, from hitting their target’s teeth, if a Real Murder Mysteries show I watched years ago is accurate!)

    (lacephotograph, while there are things you can do, such as keep your hands clean after fingering and maintaining decent oral hygiene, especially prior to oral sex, it’s not something to feel angst over, either. Just buy her some cranberry pills for later prevention and help remind her to pee after sexual activities, and hopefully the UTIs won’t recur. And if she’s comfortable with sharing any of her other issues, VP can try to suggest solutions! Good luck to y’all!)

  6. Hpa77 says:

    Thanks, I’m trying not to feel bad over it! And I’ve briefly suggested VP, but she’s not an LJ user anymore and I’m not sure if she’s comfortable actually sharing all the details with me so I can post it for her. She’s currently trying a new birth control pill to see if that will help calm things down, but if that doesn’t help I’ll suggest it again.

  7. Hteall says:

    Remember, you can also ask a mod to post anonymously for you! So she could email it to the mod if desired, and not actually tell anyone. (Though she might then need to watch LJ for a few days to see the answers, of course.)

    Either way, crossing fingers for her!

  8. DianeA says:

    I suffer from frequent urinary tract infections (unfortunately I would get one about 50% of the time after intercourse–even after urinating directly afterwards). I started taking Lady Soma’s Cranberry Supplement (the maximum of 4 a day) only when I had intercourse, or when I felt a UTI coming on (although once I felt it coming on, it was sometimes too late). My UTIs are way down from how frequently I was getting them without the lady soma cranberry supplement. I have lost my health insurance and was concerned about the expense of having to go to the doctor or ER for UTI’s, so I began taking 2 pills a day (and 4 on the days that I have intercourse), and have not had a problem since.

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