But there is something I want to talk about.
I am 31 years old and I have a lot of sexual issues, having been molested as a child, and sexually assaulted quite a bit as a young adult. For years I hated myself. I made one bad decision after another and always put myself down. 3 years ago I was dumped by a guy I was with for nearly 3 years and thought I was going to marry. He proposed, but had no intention of ever following through. Yes, the whole thing was hurtful. And a month later he was dating someone else. 2 months later, I realized him breaking up with me was the best thing he could ever have done for me. I suffer depression/anxiety and was not able to work for years. For some reason, after the breakup, and actually turning 30, changed that all. I still can't work full time, but I can work :). And this time last year, I finally realized how awesome I truly am and that I do love myself. I have changed so much. I went from not being able to say no to saying "Hell no."
I have been single for the past 3 years, because I am very picky now. I don't want to put up with what I did in all my other relationships. All guys were controlling and I let them because I didn't think I was a very good person any way and deserved it. And I just haven't been able to find the right guy, you know? But last summer, I started seeing someone. He told me he had Aspergers, but he seemed really together, really friendly, really caring. But then he called me fat… And not just fat. After a few weeks we started to fool around some. He refused to go further because I have genital warts thanks to my ex. Actually it was hard for him to do even that, he was so paranoid he'd get warts on your hands. But I know it's not possible. Any way, he is really inexperienced and I had to coax him a lot. Later he said, and I quote, "I couldn't find your clit because you are fat and your outer labia sticks out too much." Something like that.
It was extremely hurtful. In fact, that is what started my downward spiral back into low self-esteem. I know I don't hate myself, and I know on the surface I am awesome… But I was always afraid about what my outer labia was like and that maybe it did stick out too much. So he voiced that young girls fears… And it just… Hurt. And because he has Aspergers he just doesn't get (or care) that something like that is hurtful and painful and cruel. Needless to say that we're not friends at all anymore… But almost a year later and I'm still bothered by this. I KNOW that he is inexperienced and was blaming ME for not knowing what he was doing, but it still voiced my own fears. Is it normal for an outer labia to "stick out" and cover everything so completely down there? What I could really use is some sympathy and support.
And I'm not comfortable with photos of vagina's.