I don’t know if this is 100% the right place to be posting this, but I figured you guys could point me in the right direction if it’s not.

I know it’s a long shot, but there’s no way I can be the only one with this issue.

I’m VERY ticklish, especially on my feet and the backs of my legs. I’m actually pretty ticklish everywhere, but these are the places that tend to cause me the most trouble. Naturally, these are places that my boyfriend loves to touch during foreplay/sex. Sometimes when it tickles (usually before I’m fully turned on), we can just laugh it off and keep going. Other times, like last night, it’s a total mood killer (moreso for him than for me, truthfully). I notice it more when he uses a light, sensual touch more than when he uses a harder, more firm touch, but rough groping does not always equal automatic turn-on.

Is there anything else I/we can try so that I feel LESS ticklish and can stay in the moment?

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20 Responses to Hyper Ticklish

  1. Sirulova says:

    I have the same problem, except that my ticklish areas are around my stomach, neck, and waist. I have had partners that it really irritated that I couldn’t stand for them to touch me lightly there, and they would always get frustrated with me, mood killed, etc. I think this is something you should talk about with your partner when you’re not in the bedroom or in the heat of the moment. Make sure to bring up all the places where you DO like him to touch you during foreplay. He should understand and be able to laugh it off, not be offended, and not have the mood killed. I think an understanding partner is a better solution than not being ticklish, because you can’t help being ticklish. He might have the wrong impression that you don’t enjoy his touch or something, so just explain to him that is not the case, you are just a ticklish person.

  2. Xosofa says:

    Thanks. I’m not sure why last night was such a big deal compared to other times. We’ve been together for 7 years so it’s not like it’s someone new who wouldn’t know what they’re dealing with. I will try talking to him this weekend. I apologized last night (for lack of ability to do anything else, really), and he did acknowledge that it wasn’t my fault since it’s out of my control. The last few days haven’t been the greatest for either of us, so I think that might have something to do with it.

  3. Sirulova says:

    That could be it. Everybody has off days. If things are good in general, I would maybe take a day or two off sex and try again tomorrow.

  4. EohNet says:

    On the other hand, he can’t totally help if it kills the mood for him, either.

  5. OblFriut says:

    I have had problems with being ticklish and sensitivity, for me i find the whole groin area to be ticklish and if not approached in the right way can send me into uncontrollable fits of laughter. My feet are also troublesome, but less so nowadays, I used to actually not even be able to touch my own feet! I had to purposefully handle and massage them often to help me become accustomed to touch, and it is less of a problem now – i can actually get a pedicure if i want.

    I think the best way to get over it is through touching and handling, and asking your boyfriend to give a firmer touch when handling you during sexytimes. I find that sometimes i am more sensitive than others, not really sure if that’s a hormonal cycle thing. May be, though.

  6. Etafornia says:

    my feet are OFF LIMITS. period. i will kick you. (unless, of course, its during a pedicure, then i just jerk my feet back involuntarily and they KNOW me better now.) plus, diabetic neuropathy and my feet HURT. so, no.

    when i’m sick, too, my skin is oversensitive EVERYwhere and dont touch me. no, really. if you must touch me, be firm in the touches, no ghost-touch or i will growl and get mean.

    also, if i’m already irritible, you may as well hang it up, its just not gonna be pretty. (it sounds like that may have been a little bit of the problem too, with you?) it sucks not to get your need met, in that you need one type of touch and he wants to give you another type.

  7. SmuClo says:

    I really have no idea how to feel less ticklish, but wanted to say that I know where you’re coming from. I’m pretty much ticklish EVERYWHERE and I know that sometimes it gets kind of tiring for my boyfriend (he can’t even kiss me on the neck most of time). In general I don’t think he minds though…he likes it when I squirm around when he tickles me (intentionally or not), so it’s not really a mood killer for us. That sounds pretty weird when I type it.

    Anyway, I’ve found that in rare instances when I’m really in the mood, I can somewhat “forget” about being ticklish and my body will relax and not react so much to being touched. But those are rare moments indeed :/

  8. NinSuper says:

    god I am so ticklish it isnt even funny – my husband can even tickle me with out even touching me – just by pretending – it makes me squirm just thinking about it. He calls it “using the force” hahaha

    There is a certain way I have to be touched or it just sends me through the roof -esp my lower abdomen – cant STAND a light touch there – kills the mood. I keep telling him NOT to touch me there – I think he honestly forgets.

    I dont know that there is a way to get less ticklish – except perhaps (just a thought) hypnosis *shrugs* worth a try anyway

  9. Xosofa says:

    We call it “the invisible tickle”. Glad I’m not the only one!

  10. 54ste says:

    Lol that happens to me too- just making that tickle sound…haha.

    My hubby knows that if he tickles me I flail, and if he gets kicked its not my fault. He doesn’t seem to get offended though if he tickles me on accident while we are being intimate so I’m not sure how to deal with that, other than using something in between the light touch and the firmer ones.

  11. EohNet says:

    Have you guys tried more of a massage touch? Maybe with some lotion or something? Might make it easier for your boyfriend to break the light touch habit. My husband hates light touch, and I kept doing it to him on accident because I wasn’t thinking.

  12. Ysiall says:

    I’m a very ticklish person too but it’s something we’re sort of tried to incorporate into our sexy times. He knows certain spots are off limits, like my feet or my knees, but otherwise I really like being touched softly everywhere. If it gets too tickly then I’ll ask him to stop or use more/less pressure, but most of the time I can kind of relax my body and can sit right on the edge between ticklish and squirmy.

    Anyway, my boyfriend LOVES making me “squirmy” (as we call it). He finds it a huge turn on and I do too, especially when we’re spooning and he’s behind me. There’s still a lot of me saying “too much!” But then he just adjusts and we continue.

  13. Gni007 says:

    I’m only ticklish until I’m turned on, most of the time. 🙂 But I’ve been with people who are way more ticklish, and it’s hard not to tickle. Firm touch totally helps, as well as sharp – like a fingernail trace.

    Something you might want to try is sex in or just after a shower. My skin is waaaay less ticklish when it’s wet. Strange, I know, but I noticed it at some point and found it helpful.

    Lotions or oils could also change your skin’s sensitivity, although it’s hard to say which way the change would go…

    …and yeah, if this is just you, he’s gonna have to accept it. 🙂 But if you’re annoyed by your own tickle response, no harm trying to figure out if you can change it.

  14. HctNope says:

    Yep I know exactly what you mean. I’m ticklish on my clit and general vulva area… that’s a REAL mood killer. A lot of the time I have to super concentrate and shout at myself to get over it, then we can continue. That, or he changes the way he touches me and gets back to it a little later. I’ve also got a band around my lower belly (almost directly over my ovaries) that if you touch me lightly there I’ll scream. I’m the kind of ticklish that if you tickle me I can’t breathe. Super hot for the bedroom, right…. 🙁

    So, yeah. I feel you.

    The only thing, like I said, that helps me is to concentrate, shout at myself to “get over it”, and have him co-operate a little so that we either don’t do that for a while, or to change his touch.

    We’ve also been together 7 years, and he STILL forgets 🙂 He’s not so serious anymore though, and realises when I laugh I’m not laughing AT him….

  15. Xosofa says:

    Yeah, I think part of the reason it was such a big deal last night was because the last few days have been really crummy for both of us. We’re going to talk later but I think in his mind, sex was going to make everything feel a little better, not be more work.

  16. Yhpoma says:

    I am very ticklish and it’s actually a PTSD trigger for me (I curl up into a ball and dissociate basically), so my partners have just learned NOT to tickle me. And if that means only touching me in certain ticklish spots with a firmer (and firm can be gentle, btw!) touch and a bit of a warning to me so I know it’s coming, well then, that’s what they have to do! Also … it helps me a lot if we start touch in those areas with my hand over his and I guide it around or his hand over mine and he can feel how I best like to be touched there. (That also gives me more of a sense of control, which helps both the ticklishness and the PTSD issues.) Maybe this is something you two can try that will make it feel more intimate and less negative (i.e. instead of “don’t do that!” it’s “here, try this…”).

  17. Xxeeva says:

    I’ve noticed that I am so ticklish on my legs that I absolutely can not be touched there without it almost…hurting. It’s weird. I know it’s just tickling, but it’s so intense that I yank my legs away and almost cry if it keeps up. It’s bad.

    I haven’t found anything that helps. 🙁

  18. HsiNet says:

    I am also very ticklish, and this is honestly a bit of a hot issue for me. It is not a fault that I am ticklish, and a caring partner should want to touch me in ways that I enjoy. I had a partner who would get frustrated about me being ticklish even though, like you, we had been together for many years and I’ve ALWAYS been ticklish. It was a mood killer because he allowed it to be. I’ve grown to see it as rather selfish – he got frustrated because he wanted to touch me the way he wanted and didn’t get the response he desired. Shouldn’t he want to touch me the way I like to be touched? It became a very toxic pattern: I would get ticklish, he would take it personally and get frustrated, I would feel guilty, and it eventually contributed to sex feeling more stressful than enjoyable.

    My current partner has a different attitude, and that has made all the difference for me. Sometimes I am too ticklish to be touched in certain places, so we just move on and he touches other places. For example, my torso might be way too sensitive, so he will focus on my back or arms. Sometimes I am ticklish all over, and he will use a rougher touch like grabbing, scratching, or hair-pulling. Another technique we use is hugging and grinding – instead of him running his hands over me, we rub our bodies together while holding each other. Sometimes he just incorporates tickles into sexy-times by not getting discouraged and continuing to do things to arouse me even if other things are tickling… before him, I never would have believed I could enjoy erotic tickling!! He also knows that certain places are pretty much guaranteed to be too ticklish for touching – like my feet. He either asks first, or touches tentatively while watching my reaction to see if those places are off-limits that night.

    In my experience, attitude is the most important factor, followed closely by communication. The onus is not on you to be less ticklish. The onus is on BOTH of you to find ways to touch each other that you BOTH enjoy, and to stay positive. I use it as an opportunity for creativity and exploration. Your boyfriend should pay attention to your ticklish areas and ask what kind of touch you like. You should communicate to him where he can and can’t touch and what kind of touch you like.

    Most importantly, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!!! You experience sensations in your own unique way, and that should be honored and respected! I swear, as one ticklish person to another, it absolutely does not have to be a mood killer!

  19. Morgan says:

    Have you considered using it to your advantage?

    Perhaps if he is more gentle and slow, the ticklishness can be used to enhance your sexual play. I am personally extremely, debilitatingly ticklish on my feet, underarms and breasts, but when my husband and I are fooling around, he’s been known to, on occassion, pin me down and tickle me rather thoroughly while we’re in the middle of “the act.” The first time it happened, I lost it completely – I panicked, thrashed around and squealed like a hysterical schoolgirl having a fit – but I also had an orgasm. A really, REALLY good one. Ever since then, we’ve dabbled in it every now and again, and we’re even now talking about me being tied up (I love bondage) to be tickled and teased.

    If the ticklishness is to the point of painfulness or PTSD as one person said, that’s a whole different story, but if it’s just annoying, maybe you can try to use it to your advantage? You would be amazed at the muscles that clench when you can’t stop laughing…and so might he.

    😉

  20. amanda says:

    Im very ticklish too. Sonetimes it is a mood killer because I get so frusterated with myself. Even though my husband is very supportive and never gives me a hard time about it, I still want to feel like I can be a good partner and it was frusterating always saying, “no, not there, or there.” Or “thats too light” all the time. Sonow we found other ways I can react when I dont want to just say no over and overso that I can still feel sexy. One thing we do is I grab his wrists and pin him and have him put his hands behind his headand focus on what he would like. This give me a break from being touche, a sence of control, time to gather and collect myself, but it doesnt kill the mood so I dont feel like a failure.

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