Hi everyone!
The other day during sex with my boyfriend I suddenly got the urge to pee (despite having gone to the bathroom 30 mins tops before that) and got really tense and just wanted to get it over with, which is not the attitude I want to have towards sex! I’ve only been sexually active for about a month and it’s still a bit hard for me to comfortably talk about sex with him (not because of his attitude but because I still feel shy about that kind of stuff), so I didn’t tell him about it (plus, I was kind of grossed out and didn’t want him to be, too). When it happened again (only when I’m on top), I decided to do some googling and found out that the urge was due to G-spot stimulation, and I was wondering how other VP-ers react to that (I guess, fake?) urge to pee. How easy is it for you to just relax? I’m going to talk to my boyfriend about it and I’m guessing he’s going to ask me what he can do to help me relax–what do your partners do?
I also had a question about clitoral orgasms. Even if the stimulation feels amazing, it always takes me a while to climax (we’ve never timed it obviously but I’m guessing it takes around 15-20 mins, even if I’m super aroused). I usually use a pillow when I masturbate (and it definitely doesn’t take as much time then) so I can’t really compare it to my own stimulation. Mostly out of curiosity, how much time does it take you to get off from clitoral stimulation?

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10 Responses to G-spot, the urge to pee, and clitoral orgasms

  1. XdxWoman says:

    I’m pretty sure I may have some kind of pelvic issue but I have to cut off all liquids an hour before sex minimum then I pee before sex and often in the middle (such a bummer) and then again after. It sucks. I get the same urge and I have yet to be able to ignore it, I wish I was more helpful. However, I have squirted before and that, for me, is a different feeling. I know when I’m able to squirt because my body feels different, my arousal is different. Oddly, my squirting doesn’t always happen when orgasm. It certainly feels awesome but a regular orgasm may not occur at the same time as I squirt. On top of all of that, I only squirt during high energy, aggressive, highly stimulating sex. It has taken me about 5 months to figure all of this out about myself.

    That said, it’s only been in the last 6 months that my fianc? and I have learned how to make me orgasm during sex. Previously, I had only done so with myself and I’ve been having sex for nearly 10 years. Ridiculous. Anyway, although we have it down to a science, I require a very specific order of events to prime myself for orgasm. From start to finish, it can take up to an hour. Sometimes if I get everything done well, it can take 15 minutes but usually it takes me way longer. I’d be super excited to knock an orgasm out in 15-20 minutes, haha. I have to concentrate a lot and I can only be on my back. This is way more detail than necessary probably but I wouldn’t be concerned about that time frame that you are describing.

    I will say, communication is VERY important during sex and about sex. I know you are nervous but everyone has a better experience when you are open about your needs. It bugs my fianc? when I have to pee in the middle of sex but he knows I can’t help it and that if we both want to have a good time, I have to be comfortable. It is often painful when I have to pee and am engaged in sex and my fianc? wouldn’t ever want me to be in pain. What I’m saying is that learning to share and discuss with him is paramount. When I finally learned to lay down what I needed and wanted, my sex life improved tenfold.

  2. SraNew says:

    Re: clitoral orgasms – as someone who took FOREVER (I mean literal months) to be able to orgasm through manual partner stimulation (i.e. without a vibrator) I can say that 15 minutes is still pretty darn quick for me! Everyone is different though, and it’s totally normal to react differently to different kinds of stimulation. Plus if you’ve not been sexually active for very long you’ll probably find as things progress that stuff like that will change and develop. My main attitude is that if it feels really good but it’s taking a while… well, that’s just more enjoyment ;)

  3. SseNope says:

    My boyfriend basically gave me permission to accidentally pee on him if I let go and it turns out to be urine rather than ejaculate. That helped a little bit, but the sensation still is distracting. I’ve even squirted before, so it’s not like I’m convinced I’ll pee. It’s just uncomfortable.

    It does help to switch up positions so he’s not hitting my bladder along with my g-spot. And adding more clitoral stimulation helps distract my brain from my body.

    As for that, I masturbate with diffuse, soft pressure too. Yet, I can orgasm through PIV, if there’s lots of diffuse pressure like his pelvis slamming into my vulva. G-spot stimulation is generally very effective for me, to the point where clitoral is the least useful of all during partnered sex. Sometimes it helps to take a break for kissing and all-body stimulation, and then return to PIV.

  4. Namte says:

    I have the same weird sensation if my sex partner has a big penis. I always wondered if this pee sensation would also be related with being petite. </p>

    For me what works is to when it starts to feel unbearable, I slow down and then start doing like it was. IF there isn’t any possibility and will keep hurting, I ask for changing the position.

  5. Etafornia says:

    masturbating, i can pop off a climax in under 3 minutes. with a partner, unless i’m REALLY SUPER EXCITED, it doesnt happen that fast. lately, it doesnt happen much at all (lots of reasons, but we both understand, and its ok).

    when i was younger and more sexually fit, under 15 minutes. when there was all sorts of mentally/physically arousing stuff going on (sexytalk, skin contact, kissing, no actual “this is foreplay” stuff, just being cuddly and smoochy) it happened faster than that.

  6. FetZero says:

    Definitely the urge to pee has to do with g-spot. Most women feel the urge to pee- but if you keep going the urge to pee should turn into pleasure. So if you can get past the initial urge to pee, all should be well! If it’s making you really uncomfortable, try going into the bathroom to pee then continue and it should feel better.

    For me it’s really easy to get off by clitoral stimulation. I can probably orgasm under a minute if i’m focused. But I can also prolong it for a long time as well if I want.

    It’s also a lot easier for me as I use toys a lot of the time. Since using them I can orgasm so much faster and better.

    Also- something that may be useful to you- would be while you’re having sex with your partner use an external vibrator on your clitoris. It can help you get aroused faster so you don’t have that urge to pee, just pleasure. I had the urge to pee problem and this always does the trick for me.

    :) take care~

  7. Floofa says:

    By myself, it usually takes me 30 minutes to orgasm, if I’m not watching porn/etc.

    I’ve been having sex for 13-ish years, and never came with a partner. only within the past year has my newest partner been able to get me off by clitoral stimulation. at first, it took him about an hour but now that I’m more comfortable, and we’ve both worked out WHAT gets me off and his technique has been refined, it’s 20-30 minutes. Once, when i was super-turned on, it was only 15 ^_^

  8. RedNope says:

    Re: g-spot urge to pee, I had a partner once in my early days of being sexually active who was trying to convince me that this was due to g-spot pressure, and I didn’t believe him. He told me to try and go pee when I felt like it — and I actually found that, because I was so aroused, it was difficult for me to pee. Not sure if this is the same for everyone, but it definitely helped me get over my fear of peeing during sex because I know it’s something else!

    For clitoral orgasm, it depends. Sometimes I can get one in 5 minutes, sometimes it can take up to an hour.

  9. Ereoya says:

    By myself, if all’s going well, it usually takes 20-30 minutes-ish – admittedly, this is different depending on what I’m doing (it takes less time if I’m using a faucet, for example >>). I haven’t managed to orgasm with the Boyfriend yet, though not for lack of trying. :/

    Admittedly, I’m on an SSRI, so that kind of changes how long it takes for me.

  10. NemYes says:

    Hey! To help address your question, this is what I find in my experience.

    I get the same urge to pee, but I also noticed, just like a couple other people have said, if I’m super aroused I find it really hard to actually pee right after (or even during). I’ve squirted before though, so I like to think that a lot of the reason why I feel the urge to pee is because I could be on the edge of squirting. And for me, the full feeling I get actually feels really good to me during PIV. Maybe talking to your partner about it will make you feel relax?

    As for reaching climax, it definitely takes me longer with a partner, but I just kinda figure that’s how it is. I’m much more comfortable and understand how I feel much better than my partner would, so it makes sense it would take him longer to get me off than myself. Though I feel with time, it can get quicker, especially the more relaxed you are around one another.

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