Okay I feel a little awkward posting, but I have tried going back and reading through resources and I can’t find the information I need.

I am a virgin but I don’t believe my hymen is intact. Recently I have been considering, trying to get a finger inside my vagina, possibly leading to getting a bullet vibe in there.

What I want to know is would this lead to my vagina looking different on the outside? At the moment I can’t actually see a hole or a space there and this question is mainly down to a comment a friend made about “her hole looking a whole lot bigger on the outside” since she had started having sex. I’m wondering whether this is true?

I am from a culture where “virginity” before marriage is a requirement (Don’t judge, the guy has the same values to live up to!) so I’m also wondering whether penetration with fingers and bullet vibes will make my vagina large over time and hence my sexual response that first time with a man, be “non-virgin-like”?

The final question I have is I can’t seem to slide my finger in to my vagina anyway. I have been very wet and turned on when I have tried so I am prepared, but I can’t seem to slide a finger in. Should I be using some pressure? Would having a mirror make it easier or should I be more relaxed and lying down not focussed on things like mirrors. Anyway any help on the questions would be appreciated. Thanks in advance.

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8 Responses to first time vaginal penetration?

  1. Nam77 says:

    If you can’t slide your finger in, your hymen is likely still in tact.

    Your vagina is built to stretch and return to its normal size, but penetration of any kind does risk breaking the hymen if it is still intact.

  2. OtiGirl says:

    Having a mirror handy or not having one is perfectly fine. It’s all about what is comfortable for you. If you think a mirror might distract you, you could have a look around when you aren’t aroused just so you have a better idea of where things are. Either way, I think mirrors are a good way to get a visual grasp just because… Well, for most people it’s near impossible to get a good view of their vulva.

    As for the size thing… Someone can correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think that penetration has much effect on the appearance of your vulva/vagina. Right after penetration it might because of the increased blood flow and having just had something inside, but once you calm down a bit I’m pretty sure things go back to normal. The vagina is just a tube of muscle, so it will stretch and contract back into its original shape pretty easily and quickly.

    Lastly, if vaginal penetration is difficult for you at the moment, clitoral stimulation might help you relax a bit more. It’s hard to se why you are having trouble putting a finger in, but it could be something as simple as that, or it could be something completely different. A lot of people find penetration easier after clitoral stimulation/orgasm, so it might help if using a mirror doesn’t clear things up for you.

  3. Nihita says:

    Thanks, I will try all those suggestions.

  4. 8idko says:

    http://www.the-clitoris.com/ is a very informative site about our “southern anatomy” and what to do with it. Click around the various chapters there. But WARNING: There are some VERY FRANK PHOTOS there so if that’s something you don’t want to see, don’t go there.

    There is a chapter dedicated to the hymen. If you sit on the floor with your knees up and splayed, and you part your labia, then you’ll be able to see your hymen (or what’s left of it) with a hand mirror. Again, there are some VERY FRANK photos at that chapter to help you identify what you see.

    “Virginity” can be defined a lot of different ways. Decide what is important to you. And no, a guy will not be able to tell if you’ve had anything up there either for function or for pleasure before him.

  5. Nihita says:

    I have been on that site before, but not recently.
    I’ll have another look, thanks for the link.

    “And no, a guy will not be able to tell if you’ve had anything up there either for function or for pleasure before him.”

    Thanks that is reassuring to know.

  6. Ereoya says:

    Are you sure that they’re judging by corona/hymen? Cause that’s like… the most inaccurate thing; a lot of people barely have anything left by the time they’re adults just from normal activities.

  7. The Debt Collector says:

    When you are menstruating, do you use a tampon or a towel?

    If you have been using a tampon since you first started your periods, then there is a strong chance that the hymen has already by the insertion of the tampon; particularly if as a teenager, you used the applicator type, which widens the vagina more that an ordinary tampax.

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