This is a totally bizarre series of questions, I'm sorry for sounding so ridiculous here. They are mostly questions relating to etiquette, but since they are all focused around sex I thought it would be okay to post here. They aren't vagina specific though, so I don't know if this is allowed.
Is it weird to never let someone you are dating sleep over at your house? I mean, is it weird to just always sleep over at theirs? They can come over to your house to meet your family or whatever, but not sleep over. Is that bizarre? Do other people do that?
I live with my mum and my step-dad. And I am not at all comfortable having people I'm dating over. I have only ever been in very short-lived relationships, so this is not an issue that has ever been raised before. But with every relationship I get into, I freak out about how, when the time comes, I will have to explain this. I don't want to have sex in this house. Not just that, I don't want someone I'm dating to sleep over in this house even if there is no sex. Because I have so many issues related to the childhood abuse I mentioned in my previous post, it's hard to explain but I see my bedroom here as my 'safe' room. And I just don't want anything relationshippy or sex-related to go on in here. Is that stupid? Like, is that something that is understandable to an outsider, or just bizarre? Night-time is a very strange time for me, I always feel a little uncomfortable during the night because it is triggering for me and I can get upset very easily at night, so I have very specific night-time needs. I need to either be alone in my safe room, or with him at another location. I can't have the two merge, if I have him in my room at night I will freak out. I'm fine in HIS room, because it's a totally different place that has no association to my childhood, and I can relax because it is his space. But if he is in MY space I will feel triggery and won't be able to relax. Does any of this make sense?
I don't know how to explain it to people I'm dating/seeing. I feel like I already have so many limitations in regards to sex; with my vulvodynia we can't have sex often and when we do it has to begin by being gross and clinical what with all the lidocaine I have to use, and I can get triggered and dissociate, or become upset and have to stop…there is so much about me that is just terrible and abnormal, relationship-wise. I feel like adding this to the list is going too far and he will think of me as high maintenence or too much effort or just hopelessly weird. I was hoping that maybe other people who have no issues at all just, for some reason, don't have their significant other sleep over at their house? Instead they just stay at their SO's place all the time. Is this something that ever happens with regular couples? Is there a more normal excuse I could use? As far as I can tell most couples alternate, 'my place/your place', different decision every night, even when they live with their parents.
Sorry for the length and the bizarre nature of this post, I hope I'm not breaking any rules. This has just been buzzing around my head for ages.